/page/3
[Unrelated Prologue: WHAT THE HOLLY JOLLY FUCK, TUMBLR. Your service may be free, but your service sucks—which part of SAVE AS DRAFT meant PUBLISH? Are your employees too busy Instagramming their hipster dicks off and bragging about Tumblr’s popularity to notice that every other popular service has their shit together? Are you aware that many of those functional services are run by ONE person? Are you paying people in iPhones and PBR? Are you even a real company? Are you hiring? I need a job. Check out my LinkedIn profile sometime, if you’re in the mood to masturbate.]
BUT ANYWAYS
This is a bacon reproduction of a popular helm in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. My character, whose boobs are not as impressive as they should be, wore this for a few levels, and I was very fond of it despite that her boobs were still disappointing. I recently replaced it with a similar helm that has YET ANOTHER HORN, looted from the corpse of some bandit punk motherfucker trying to violate at the 21 and Lewis. 
Everybody knows ‘Skyrim’ sounds like a fucking awesome gay bar, but it’s actually a video game. It’s part of the Elder Scrolls series. Everybody knows ‘Elder Scrolls’ sounds like a fucking awesome black metal band, but it’s actually a video game series. Skyrim is the latest release. While there is a sky, I haven’t unlocked the power to rim it. I’m a little nervous because the last version of Elder Scrolls had rain storms and stuff, while I haven’t seen a single drop in this one. This implies that the previous version had a way cleaner sky than this new one and I’d probably be better off rimming that one. Now I’ve got to decide whether I prefer jelly or syrup. I can’t handle this much longer.

[Unrelated Prologue: WHAT THE HOLLY JOLLY FUCK, TUMBLR. Your service may be free, but your service sucks—which part of SAVE AS DRAFT meant PUBLISH? Are your employees too busy Instagramming their hipster dicks off and bragging about Tumblr’s popularity to notice that every other popular service has their shit together? Are you aware that many of those functional services are run by ONE person? Are you paying people in iPhones and PBR? Are you even a real company? Are you hiring? I need a job. Check out my LinkedIn profile sometime, if you’re in the mood to masturbate.]

BUT ANYWAYS

This is a bacon reproduction of a popular helm in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. My character, whose boobs are not as impressive as they should be, wore this for a few levels, and I was very fond of it despite that her boobs were still disappointing. I recently replaced it with a similar helm that has YET ANOTHER HORN, looted from the corpse of some bandit punk motherfucker trying to violate at the 21 and Lewis. 

Everybody knows ‘Skyrim’ sounds like a fucking awesome gay bar, but it’s actually a video game. It’s part of the Elder Scrolls series. Everybody knows ‘Elder Scrolls’ sounds like a fucking awesome black metal band, but it’s actually a video game series. Skyrim is the latest release. While there is a sky, I haven’t unlocked the power to rim it. I’m a little nervous because the last version of Elder Scrolls had rain storms and stuff, while I haven’t seen a single drop in this one. This implies that the previous version had a way cleaner sky than this new one and I’d probably be better off rimming that one. Now I’ve got to decide whether I prefer jelly or syrup. I can’t handle this much longer.

Tags: Elder Scrolls  Skyrim  Bacon  Helmet  RPG  Tumblr  bllix uncut  

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   23 notes

This, basically.

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   15 notes

BREAKING NEWS:
The RZA confirms departure from Wu-Tang Clan, announcing new affiliation with…um…Vu-Tang Clan, possibly U-Tang Clan or I guess Whatever The Fuck Letter That’s Supposed to Look Like-Tang Clan. Sources close to the Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig Allah say the change came about when his chessboxing trainer shamefully tried to run game on a nigga, The opponent was later identified as a distant cousin of Shymeek from 212 who had got bust two times in his head, word is bond.

BREAKING NEWS:

The RZA confirms departure from Wu-Tang Clan, announcing new affiliation with…um…Vu-Tang Clan, possibly U-Tang Clan or I guess Whatever The Fuck Letter That’s Supposed to Look Like-Tang Clan. Sources close to the Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig Allah say the change came about when his chessboxing trainer shamefully tried to run game on a nigga, The opponent was later identified as a distant cousin of Shymeek from 212 who had got bust two times in his head, word is bond.

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   15 notes

This is a screenshot from the upcoming Lifetime channel production of the future story about how I met my future husband.
Key take-aways:
Tortillas significantly increase my quality of life.
Tortillas significantly get eaten by me in life.
The actress chosen to portray me is super less good-looking than I am.
The actor chosen to portray my betrothed appears to be super less tall than I prefer.
Tortillas are a standard unit of measurement in some countries that do not exist.
Ski masks attract lint.
Tortillas.

This is a screenshot from the upcoming Lifetime channel production of the future story about how I met my future husband.

Key take-aways:

  • Tortillas significantly increase my quality of life.
  • Tortillas significantly get eaten by me in life.
  • The actress chosen to portray me is super less good-looking than I am.
  • The actor chosen to portray my betrothed appears to be super less tall than I prefer.
  • Tortillas are a standard unit of measurement in some countries that do not exist.
  • Ski masks attract lint.
  • Tortillas.
Tags: Tortillas  Bromance  

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   14 notes

This has happened to me.

This has happened to me.

Tags: Star Trek  Dr. Who  Dalek  Klingon  TARDIS  

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   19 notes

Is Saint Hallmark REAL?
Seriously hoping there was some sort of mix up; wrong house, lost card (signed by friend or family or Christian Bale). I am open to alternative explanations such as lucid dream, ghosts, vampires, sentient bucket of fried chicken, Skynet, Zuul—anything that doesn’t involve anonymous creepsterism.
Anyway, I will probably get abducted, felt-up a bunch of times and brutally murdered later if I’m not too busy. It was nice never really getting to know you guys, and best of luck with your respective New Year’s resolutions.

Is Saint Hallmark REAL?

Seriously hoping there was some sort of mix up; wrong house, lost card (signed by friend or family or Christian Bale). I am open to alternative explanations such as lucid dream, ghosts, vampires, sentient bucket of fried chicken, Skynet, Zuul—anything that doesn’t involve anonymous creepsterism.

Anyway, I will probably get abducted, felt-up a bunch of times and brutally murdered later if I’m not too busy. It was nice never really getting to know you guys, and best of luck with your respective New Year’s resolutions.

Posted: 1 year agoPermaLink   |   9 notes

[Unrelated Prologue: WHAT THE HOLLY JOLLY FUCK, TUMBLR. Your service may be free, but your service sucks—which part of SAVE AS DRAFT meant PUBLISH? Are your employees too busy Instagramming their hipster dicks off and bragging about Tumblr’s popularity to notice that every other popular service has their shit together? Are you aware that many of those functional services are run by ONE person? Are you paying people in iPhones and PBR? Are you even a real company? Are you hiring? I need a job. Check out my LinkedIn profile sometime, if you’re in the mood to masturbate.]
BUT ANYWAYS
This is a bacon reproduction of a popular helm in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. My character, whose boobs are not as impressive as they should be, wore this for a few levels, and I was very fond of it despite that her boobs were still disappointing. I recently replaced it with a similar helm that has YET ANOTHER HORN, looted from the corpse of some bandit punk motherfucker trying to violate at the 21 and Lewis. 
Everybody knows ‘Skyrim’ sounds like a fucking awesome gay bar, but it’s actually a video game. It’s part of the Elder Scrolls series. Everybody knows ‘Elder Scrolls’ sounds like a fucking awesome black metal band, but it’s actually a video game series. Skyrim is the latest release. While there is a sky, I haven’t unlocked the power to rim it. I’m a little nervous because the last version of Elder Scrolls had rain storms and stuff, while I haven’t seen a single drop in this one. This implies that the previous version had a way cleaner sky than this new one and I’d probably be better off rimming that one. Now I’ve got to decide whether I prefer jelly or syrup. I can’t handle this much longer.

[Unrelated Prologue: WHAT THE HOLLY JOLLY FUCK, TUMBLR. Your service may be free, but your service sucks—which part of SAVE AS DRAFT meant PUBLISH? Are your employees too busy Instagramming their hipster dicks off and bragging about Tumblr’s popularity to notice that every other popular service has their shit together? Are you aware that many of those functional services are run by ONE person? Are you paying people in iPhones and PBR? Are you even a real company? Are you hiring? I need a job. Check out my LinkedIn profile sometime, if you’re in the mood to masturbate.]

BUT ANYWAYS

This is a bacon reproduction of a popular helm in Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. My character, whose boobs are not as impressive as they should be, wore this for a few levels, and I was very fond of it despite that her boobs were still disappointing. I recently replaced it with a similar helm that has YET ANOTHER HORN, looted from the corpse of some bandit punk motherfucker trying to violate at the 21 and Lewis. 

Everybody knows ‘Skyrim’ sounds like a fucking awesome gay bar, but it’s actually a video game. It’s part of the Elder Scrolls series. Everybody knows ‘Elder Scrolls’ sounds like a fucking awesome black metal band, but it’s actually a video game series. Skyrim is the latest release. While there is a sky, I haven’t unlocked the power to rim it. I’m a little nervous because the last version of Elder Scrolls had rain storms and stuff, while I haven’t seen a single drop in this one. This implies that the previous version had a way cleaner sky than this new one and I’d probably be better off rimming that one. Now I’ve got to decide whether I prefer jelly or syrup. I can’t handle this much longer.

This, basically.

BREAKING NEWS:
The RZA confirms departure from Wu-Tang Clan, announcing new affiliation with…um…Vu-Tang Clan, possibly U-Tang Clan or I guess Whatever The Fuck Letter That’s Supposed to Look Like-Tang Clan. Sources close to the Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig Allah say the change came about when his chessboxing trainer shamefully tried to run game on a nigga, The opponent was later identified as a distant cousin of Shymeek from 212 who had got bust two times in his head, word is bond.

BREAKING NEWS:

The RZA confirms departure from Wu-Tang Clan, announcing new affiliation with…um…Vu-Tang Clan, possibly U-Tang Clan or I guess Whatever The Fuck Letter That’s Supposed to Look Like-Tang Clan. Sources close to the Ruler Zig-Zag-Zig Allah say the change came about when his chessboxing trainer shamefully tried to run game on a nigga, The opponent was later identified as a distant cousin of Shymeek from 212 who had got bust two times in his head, word is bond.

This is a screenshot from the upcoming Lifetime channel production of the future story about how I met my future husband.
Key take-aways:
Tortillas significantly increase my quality of life.
Tortillas significantly get eaten by me in life.
The actress chosen to portray me is super less good-looking than I am.
The actor chosen to portray my betrothed appears to be super less tall than I prefer.
Tortillas are a standard unit of measurement in some countries that do not exist.
Ski masks attract lint.
Tortillas.

This is a screenshot from the upcoming Lifetime channel production of the future story about how I met my future husband.

Key take-aways:

  • Tortillas significantly increase my quality of life.
  • Tortillas significantly get eaten by me in life.
  • The actress chosen to portray me is super less good-looking than I am.
  • The actor chosen to portray my betrothed appears to be super less tall than I prefer.
  • Tortillas are a standard unit of measurement in some countries that do not exist.
  • Ski masks attract lint.
  • Tortillas.
This has happened to me.

This has happened to me.

Is Saint Hallmark REAL?
Seriously hoping there was some sort of mix up; wrong house, lost card (signed by friend or family or Christian Bale). I am open to alternative explanations such as lucid dream, ghosts, vampires, sentient bucket of fried chicken, Skynet, Zuul—anything that doesn’t involve anonymous creepsterism.
Anyway, I will probably get abducted, felt-up a bunch of times and brutally murdered later if I’m not too busy. It was nice never really getting to know you guys, and best of luck with your respective New Year’s resolutions.

Is Saint Hallmark REAL?

Seriously hoping there was some sort of mix up; wrong house, lost card (signed by friend or family or Christian Bale). I am open to alternative explanations such as lucid dream, ghosts, vampires, sentient bucket of fried chicken, Skynet, Zuul—anything that doesn’t involve anonymous creepsterism.

Anyway, I will probably get abducted, felt-up a bunch of times and brutally murdered later if I’m not too busy. It was nice never really getting to know you guys, and best of luck with your respective New Year’s resolutions.